Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
