remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
