I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
