Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
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