dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I love you. Go after that dick
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
