I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
they need to just BURY HIM!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
