I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
