WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Jerry, you need to find god
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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