He disabled his match.com account in front of me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
