Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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