She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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