So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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