Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
