I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
