You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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