I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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