and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize