Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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