I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
