wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
