it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
