Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
