i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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