it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
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