she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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