Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So vagazzling was a success
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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