Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
try to milk me bitch
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