I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
