I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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