the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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