You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
