do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
