We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
