i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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