So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My breasts were aching with rage.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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