I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize