u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
