When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
