so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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