Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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