If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
