i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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