Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
