Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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