i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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