The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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