just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
