Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
