Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
