I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just had sex bonerless
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's rum buckets o'clock
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
