So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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