my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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