Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
