brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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