In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
