If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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