I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize