you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
