Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
