And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
