I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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