the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
